housewife.

i don't know if i can handle this. i have been trying all summer to land a job. and still, i have no regular employment. I sporradically do cleaning for some older women at my church, and i help out at church with organizing the library, but the only actual employment is with state fair, for which I will be gone the first week anyways.

first fall out- camp vertical
last year, i volunteered at the elmbrook summer camp for a few weeks. One of the ladies in charge, Shelbi, said that if i applied next year, i would pretty for-surely have a job. unfortuantely, she wasn't involved in the hiring this year, so that didn't work out.

next fall out- family video
i had an initial intervew which went really well, and they wanted me to come back for a scholastic test (just to make sure i could do numbers and i knew my alphabet). then, after that, i had to interview with the district manager, and after all this, we're into june, and i don't get the job. everything went well, except that i'm going to school in the fall, and i won't work on sundays.

third fall out- maurices
this is a fabulous clothing store. i really really wanted to work here. i applied. they called soon. this was an encouraging sign. i came in to take this 100 question "get-to-know-you" survey. i waited to get a call back. then i waited to get a call back. then I called back. they said they would be calling back the next week. two weeks later, i went in to the store. they said their hiring manager was on vacation. now it's early july, and i KNOW no clothing place would hire someone for a month and a half, with one week off in august...

most recent fall out- journal sentinal.
this would be a night-job (like 2-6 in the morning night job) delivering a paper route. early-morning delivery is the only type of paper route in waukesha now because the waukesha freeman decided it was a really good idea to deliver their paper by mail now. boo. but anyways. the first frustration is trying to get ahold of the guy, eric, because he has to be up at 2 in the morning, and goes home by like 10. well, those are basically the hours i sleep, so that made things interesting. so after we finally worked out emailing each other, there were two things i needed to find/do. i needed to 1. find my name on the declarations page of our car insurance, and 2. get a new drivers' liscence because mine still said "probationary", even though my restrictions were off. well, i found the declarations page, but my name was no where on the page. so this morning, my mom emailed the insurance place and asked if we could fix that. they sent us a copy of the exact same page. thanks for the help. then, while my mom is still figuring this out, i went off to the dmv. the line wasn't too long, but i was just worried something would go bad. i remembered i would have to have my picture taken, which gave me anxiety because i've been braking out from the pressure of not having a job and not sleeping well or at all. so i go up to the counter, only to discover that probationary means something besides restrictions.some stupid, petty distinction that is keeping me from getting a job.

i don't know how you could fail at getting so many jobs!! oh, and one more thing. at school, i guess they have student bloggers. our admissions counselor suggested my friend andy, who has never kept a blog ever. ever. the good news is that my friend jacob already got a job in the kitchen and is trying to get me one too. so we'll see. i would love to work at the library, but i doubt i will, because i want to.

i hate the feeling of not having a job. i feel rather useless, like a lifeless limb of the family, or a parasite. always taking, never giving. i know that's not what housewives are, but i don't think i could be one.