Friday, February 25, 2011

death to life.




In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

From the get-go, something had to die in order to maintain life. You might say -- wait! Not true! Nothing died until after the fall when God killed the lamb to set the example of a perfect sacrifice and to clothe adam and eve in order to hide their shame. Not so! In Genesis one, God gives man all "seed-bearing plants" for food. haven't we discovered that plants have life too? So adam and eve required something to die in order for them to maintain health.

This has a lot of implications which, in my life, have been discussed over family dinners as well as my philosophy class. Does that mean that death is not inherently or directly a result of sin? If plants could die, could humans die in the "perfect" earth, but pass straight to heaven?

Here's what's great -- it doesn't matter! That wasn't the plan. When i connected the dots of this semi-obvious revelation, at first my worldview was temporarily and utterly shattered! There was death before the fall! Even if it was a much smaller scale than human death, it was death nonetheless. But after a moment or two's thought, I said to myself -- God knew all along that man would reject him, but before he could, God called him at his own game. Even before we could reject God, he reclaimed us. He prematurely gave us food as a symbol that death sustains life. Something has to be sacrificed in order for us to live.

By no means would I condone Hinduism, but some aspects of it can teach us more about Christianity. They have this system where they theoretically could eat anything (but mostly Hindus are vegitarian), but everything you eat has some life-valule (karma) and when you eat, you rack up karma. a food's karma is dependant on "how alive" it was before you ate it. For example, a carrot has less karma, or guilt, than a pig because it was less alive. and a pig has less karma than a horse, and a horse than a human.
But despite the engaging tangent, the idea to take away (at least for the purpose of this post) is that when we eat we are taking a life to keep our own. this is not to make us feel guilty the way the Hindus do, but rather to make us grateful. granted, the food didn't have much say in the matter, but it gives its life still.





So, ever since this discussion arose at my dinner table, i've kinda been thinking about death and its relationship to life.

I got bamboo this summer, and it's pretty easy to care for. I just keep mine in a vase with water and it grows slowly and stays healthy. I switch the water often enough. But, when I got back from break, I found one of my three bamboo stalks dead. utterly killed. Not thinking about it on any sort of philosophical level, i thought to myself -- well, i guess i'll throw that one out and let the other two live the natural courses of their lives. but luckily, my dear and lovely friend Lydia was near and she said -- it's kinda poetic...

And i thought -- yea it is! so now i have a daily reminder of a number of poetic images and implications and philosophies of death dragging down full encompasing of life; or death allowing life to continue; or whatever else it is my bamboo tells me on any given day!

THEN! today, exciting story.

For valentine's day, my favorite person in the world thoughtfully gave me 2 daffodils (to reference one of our fav movies -- big fish) in a cute little pot. Made my day. Just like everyday. I was very diligent about watering them twice a day, but they started to look sad. I repotted them into more soil that I had in a bigger pot, but i think there just isn't enough light in my room. I had also had to carry them all the way across campus in the cold, and maybe they just never recovered. who knows. but they were looking dreary. I kinda gave up on watering them. I was unbelievably bummed.

But tonight, I got home, and even though I had lost hope in their life, a new blossom had sprouted between them! this was perhaps the most exciting thing that had happened to me all week, and I've had a pretty eventful week. Something about it was just moving.

What is it that moves me so? I don't know specifically. I have a lot of ideas of why it's so great, and they're all good and true, but the best is just beauty and joy inexplicable.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Homecoming.

Returning Home from College for Christmas Break my Freshman Year:
a comparisson of family vs. friends

When I first got home, I was constantly aware of the fact that I was not at school. I kept thinking, ok, don't talk too much about your new friends that no one here knows, they'll just get sick of you. I probably failed at that, but I did better than I could have. My mom kept reminding my sister and I of the normal sleep patterns that people have. Ironically enough, I ate worse at home than at school. I think at school I feel the responsibility to take care of myself, whereas at home I think, eh, mom will take care of how I eat.

So I was always thinking, at school, i eat like this, or, at school, i sleep with noise, or, at school this and at school that.

also, at school i don't have a little brother to fight with all the time.

As the weeks past, I got used to being at home. I ate without thinking about a cafeteria. I slept without thinking of the obscene songs that my roomies play while I try to sleep. I got used to asking for permission to go out and use the car.

But just today, I looked at a picture on facebook of a day my friends and I dressed up like our teacher (yes, our Bib Herm prof) and I remembered other things about that day, and other things my friends liked to do and 2am Mr. Pizza. Now I'm starting to resort back into the, at school I... mentality. I'm so excited to go back! I can't wait!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

thoughts: on water

Shivers! step, step, into the cold, cold lake.
After swimming, swimming, stroke after stroke we each tip a toe into the hot tub.
swirling, swirling, drop follows drop.
ripple follows rock
breath follows air.
every inch covered and wet
seeping into my pores
into my thoughts
and into my dreams i wish to fall.
but only water catches me.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What if Rob Bowman....

drove a ferrari?
had a powerpuff backpack?
cut class short?
stuck a jumbo marshamllow in his mouth?
didn't wear a sweatervest?
couldn't stop giggling in class?
was an old bag lady?
or a cat lady?
wore his hair differently?
was afraid of spiders?
fell asleep in class?
and snored?
encoureaged his students?
was a ginger?
did something about the fact that no one listens?
ran over a moose?
was a heartbreaker?
read my blog?
brought cupcakes to class for his birthday?
had a bedazzled sweatervest?
wore bling?
had a high squeaky voice?
wore jeans?
went surfing?
wore a christmas sweatervest with candy canes and bells and rudolph with a blinking red nose!?
was mute?
walked out of class?
starred in a music video for ke$ha?
dressed up in lady gaga's meat costume for halloween?
walked around all day holding his hands up?
had pit stains?
invented sponge technology to absorb pit leakage?
was abducted by batman through the vent?

Monday, November 1, 2010

dear fear.

Dear Fear,

Please go away. I know that's not the nicest way to start a letter, but scaring someone out of their pants is not the nicest way to start a relationship. You always make me jump or be really tense. i don't like it.
I wouldn't mind you so much if you could just tame down your personality! I think you have some great qualities! You are great at helping me sense danger and be prepared to defend myself. But you just need to be sensitive to my jumpiness. Please don't give off false alarms. That is not very nice.
In all honesty, I want to have a healthy friendship with you, but we can't do that if you are always lying to me and if we don't agree to work together!

Sincerely,
Audrey

Saturday, October 23, 2010

..Wasting Time..

Yesterday, I had two hours set aside to go into the student union before class to study for my World Civilization exam. I ended up having to spend one of those hours tryinig to print an outline for a whole other class. so I had one hour to fill out a study guide for the biggest exam I have this semester. I spent the duration of my writing class studying, so that was helpful. and the quiz went well.

But then, last night, I sat in my bed with my computer (which is not a routine), because i wanted to start watching modern family. i had heard wonderful things about it, and it was the perfect time. I figured to best place to start would be the pilot. then i spent an hour surfing the net to try to find the pilot. it was nowhere. two hours of my day wasted.

How disappointing when something that should have taken five minutes takes an hour. How dissappointing when that hour could have been spent doing something productive or enjoyable. sometimes, "wasted" is a word overused, but not here. Those two hours were wasted. perhaps I learned patience or that I should give up after fifteen minutes instead of an hour, but it was wasted.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Jay-Walking

Yes, about bib herm again. sorry.

my prof said, "if we were to go out and ask people on the street, jay leno style."

an effort to be hip and relevant.

i love jay leno, but i almost took a vow never to watch his show again.