What if Rob Bowman....

drove a ferrari?
had a powerpuff backpack?
cut class short?
stuck a jumbo marshamllow in his mouth?
didn't wear a sweatervest?
couldn't stop giggling in class?
was an old bag lady?
or a cat lady?
wore his hair differently?
was afraid of spiders?
fell asleep in class?
and snored?
encoureaged his students?
was a ginger?
did something about the fact that no one listens?
ran over a moose?
was a heartbreaker?
read my blog?
brought cupcakes to class for his birthday?
had a bedazzled sweatervest?
wore bling?
had a high squeaky voice?
wore jeans?
went surfing?
wore a christmas sweatervest with candy canes and bells and rudolph with a blinking red nose!?
was mute?
walked out of class?
starred in a music video for ke$ha?
dressed up in lady gaga's meat costume for halloween?
walked around all day holding his hands up?
had pit stains?
invented sponge technology to absorb pit leakage?
was abducted by batman through the vent?

dear fear.

Dear Fear,

Please go away. I know that's not the nicest way to start a letter, but scaring someone out of their pants is not the nicest way to start a relationship. You always make me jump or be really tense. i don't like it.
I wouldn't mind you so much if you could just tame down your personality! I think you have some great qualities! You are great at helping me sense danger and be prepared to defend myself. But you just need to be sensitive to my jumpiness. Please don't give off false alarms. That is not very nice.
In all honesty, I want to have a healthy friendship with you, but we can't do that if you are always lying to me and if we don't agree to work together!

Sincerely,
Audrey